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You Know What They Say About Guys With Big Feet?

October 5, 2010

We wear big shoes!!

Size 16s in my case.

Yep. Bring it on. I’ve heard all the jokes. My shoes could be someone else’s water skis. I could rescue someone from a flood in my canoes. The Great Lakes were formed when I took a step. I’m cool with it. I have big feet and I cannot lie…

It’s time to get them some new shoes. Athletic shoes. For the marathon.

I actually bought a pair of shoes a few weeks ago. A pair of Skechers from my favorite big and tall shop. But they didn’t work out. In fact, I think I could call it an epic fail.

See, the trouble with fat-guy shoes is that there is no flexibility in the soles. Imagine strapping a two-by-four to the bottom of your feet and wrapping the whole thing in leather (or leather-like product — pleather, if you will). In general, the shoes fit and they’re serviceable if all you’re doing is kicking around town, going to the mall, getting something to eat at the mall. They’re not designed for endurance events.

I thought I was going to have to lose my leg because of the pain the Skechers caused. After just a couple of miles walking, a pain started on the outside of my foot. The next day, the pain was radiating up my leg, and not only while I was walking. All the time. I developed a rather pronounced limp. It wasn’t fun.

Then, I saw a commercial about shoe inserts. Now, I know I have one flat foot and one arched foot. I thought maybe I’d get me some of those inserts and see what happens. Yes, I was gellin’ like a felon. And they worked, for a day or so.

When the pain returned, I knew I had to get rid of the shoes. I went back to a pair of older shoes I’d worn nearly out. Barely any tread on the bottom. Insoles that were compacted flat. Shoelaces about to snap. But I could wear them and my feet didn’t hurt.

But, with just 26 days to go before the Marine Corps. Marathon I realize I need to do something. These shoes can’t get me through nearly a month’s worth of training and then across the finish line. They’ll disintegrate before then.

So, I have to go shopping this week.

Meanwhile, if anyone needs to store a wedding dress or a set of encyclopedias, I know where you can get a big old shoe box.

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